One important influence in business and personal relationships is making the relationship and the “events” between humans personal.

How do we do this?

The following input is from global friends who have been kind enough to contribute, and from myself based on my general experience. Certainly, there is more that can be added, so please comment.

Tell stories Ask and listen Relate Go local Be curious Be honest Have patience Make it “one of a kind” Build trust Be authentic Show empathy Be honest Relate Mirror Be genuine Be passionate Be honest

How do you make it personal?

Well, from one of my readers, via Twitter, “offer genuine help w no expectations…be a willing connector in the same spirit.”

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

*Thank you: Akiko (Japanese), Stessa (American), Henrik (Danish), Amy (American) and Kayo (Japanese)

What do you consider to be the most powerful tool in the sales leader’s and sales executive’s toolkit?

That is a question that I posed, via Survey Monkey, to sales and executives and leaders worldwide. The results are not surprising.

Responses came in from close to 100 executives (93 to be exact). Here is the breakdown.

Persons polled

Senior Management: 29.3%

Sales Management: 43.9%

Sales Executives: 19.5%

Inside Sales: 2.4%

Other: 4.9%

Geographical breakdown

Asia Pacific: 63.4%

North America: 26.8%

South America: 0%

Europe and UK: 9.8%

Middle East and Africa: 0

Other: 0

Results

A sales process: 26.8%

Product and technical knowledge: 4.9%

Relationships: 63.4%

Company knowledge: 2.4%

Branding and marketing: 0%

Other: 2.4%

Comments

Clearly, relationships are most important. So why don’t more Senior Sales Managers and Sales Managers focus on relationship building soft skills? Is it not sexy? Not sexy because it can’t be measured with hard numbers? Most probably.

With a score of 0% for branding and marketing, isn’t it time that sales and marketing start to integrate more? Think of all the dollars paid for marketing and branding; how is that measured?

Your thoughts on the matter would be appreciated.

(Thank you to those who contributed)

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

Relationships. They start with a one-on-one connection (and that connection does not need to be a first time connection). But, no doubt, the connection can be tough. But if you get it right, you get it right.

How?

Everyone is human; therefore, most people desire a human connection. The question is “how?” That is where the chicken and the smile theory comes in.

The Chicken.

Throughout my world travels, I often find myself in remote villages. In these villages, the common creature (other than the human), is the chicken. Chickens have their universal language; the cluck. The only language I can speak is in these villages is “chicken.” Cluck. Cluck. So in order to connect, I act like a chicken and cluck…not to connect with the chickens, but with the villagers. They love it. They smile and gather around. I have connected.

So, the point is, there is a way to connect. You just need to find that means of connecting (and it may be a bit risky- but worth the try!). It could be with a topic: sports, news, family. Or something you may have in common. Or it could be some sort of gesture.

The Smile.

The smile is my favourite gesture. It is the universal means of communication and connecting. It is amazing what happens when you smile.

Relationships start with a connect. Keep in mind that everyone differs in the way they connect, so you may need to be sensitive. And if one thing doesn’t work, try a smiling, to connect the dots, to start your relationships. It rarely fails.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

Marketing Institute of Singapore (MIS) Speech July 29, 2010

A brief overview of the challenging current selling and buying environment and how to deal with it. For presentation download: Trust-based™ Selling and Business Development

Please send an email to: trip.allen@egyii.com if you are interested in the article, Trust: The Core Concepts, which covers the 3 models that will help you develop trustworthiness and the article Can Trust be Taught?

For more information on the Marketing Institute of Singapore, please click here MIS.

Thank you for attending.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

Teamwork, a key to success in many business environments, works seamlessly at times, but does face numerous challenges. In team situations, there can be obscure amounts of jealousy, feelings of neglect, a lack of authenticity and the tendency to jump to quick conclusions, just to name a few of the complications.

What then transpires due to these and other challenges? Cliques are formed, feuds happen and morale is down. This then results in lower performance levels, a lack of productivity, and general negativity which, ultimately, causes the teams to fall apart.

How to keep teams intact? Trust. Trust is the backbone to teamwork.

..the most critical, foundational building block of a team is trust. Without trust most teams are really disparate collections of individuals called groups. The element that creates or erodes trust is your individual behaviour. Charles H. Green, Trusted Advisor Associates

Business team leaders therefore need to build trust, by behaving in a trustworthy manner. The team members won’t trust them for the sake of trusting. It is too risky. Therefore, the team leaders need to lead and exhibit the traits and characteristics that create trustworthiness. It is up to the leaders to drive two of the following Trust Principles:*

Collaboration: To work jointly with others or together especially in an intellectual endeavour. (Merriam-Webster)

A few examples:

Team leaders need to demonstrate trustworthiness by constantly involving the team member. Don’t speculate about what your team is thinking – ask them.

Value meetings over phone calls and phone calls over emails. Make it personal.

Practice putting all issues on the table for joint discussion.

Transparency: The art of being transparent. Transparent: 1) free from pretense or deceit: frank 2) easily detected or seen through: obvious 3) readily understood 4) characterized by visibility or accessibility of information especially concerning business practices. (Merriam-Webster)

Nothing destroys trust faster than the team leader who appears to be withholding information or trying to control the team member. Be willing to be open about your practices.

Most organizations recognize that trust is an important consideration in their company’s success, but many employees don’t feel it is being nurtured internally. The main culprit? Top management… Charles H. Green, Trusted Advisor Associates

Trust drives relationships which drives teamwork, therefore team leaders need to set the example and drive trusted relationships… to keep the teams together.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

*The Four Trust Principles, Charlies H. Green, Trusted Advisor Associates

The leaders who work most effectively have trained themselves not to think “I.” They think “we;” and they think “team.” They understand that their job is to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don’t sidestep it. But “we” get the credit. This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done. Peter Drucker.

A brief overview of the economic and personal benefits of the power of trust. Speech for the Rotary Club of Singapore July 14, 2010.

For presentation download: The Unparalleled Power of Trust.

Please send me an email to: trip.allen@egyii.com if you are interested in the article, Trust: The Core Concepts, which covers the 3 models that will help you develop trustworthiness.

Thank you for attending.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

So how do you measure the ROI on personal relationships?

And why invest in personal relationships?

Personal relationships drive business, no doubt. Personal relationships are also one of the most powerful tools in the executive’s tool kit, although executives rarely admit it, because it is soft and tough to measure.

You can see a direct affect on business, but from a metrics perspective, it may be difficult. But, we all know that it works. It works because companies do invest in means of building personal relationships. They invest a large amount in personal entertaining- dinners, drinks, sports games, etc. All for building personal relationships.

So why not invest more on skills and mindsets to cement those ever-so-powerful personal relationships?

As my third grade teacher, Mrs. Drake, used to say, “Sometimes I wonder.”

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

Marketing Institute of Singapore (MIS) Keynote July 2, 2010

Buyers of complex services and products today are wiser and smarter than ever before.  Gone are the days of product pushing, old sales techniques and not connecting at a high level with the buyers.  What do buyers really want?

For more see MIS Keynote July 2, 2010.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

Create the relationship first. Create an immediate strong relationship. Understand common goals and interests. Ensure that you gain concession- must be a neutral gain for both. You must bond and you must be sincerely interested in the person. You must understand the pain that could lead to resistance. Be proactive- lead first. Collaborate. Get person to talk and get him/her to talk first. Show empathy. Listen through active listening. Establish credibility. Encourage safety. Find out as much information as you can about the person and their situation.

What is this? Suggestions on building powerful business relationships from the get-go?

Nope.

These are tips for hostage negotiators. Hostage negotiators have an insane job which is to save the life of a hostage from an irrational hostage taker.

Wow.

Sales people and executives also have tough jobs- winning over both internal and external clients. Similar to the hostage negotiator, but one makes the difference between life and death.

So why can’t executives and sales people consistently exhibit these traits? Shouldn’t they do it naturally- like the hostage negotiator?

The problem is focus. Lack of focus. Business people are too focused on the business, themselves, their numbers, the outcomes, the sale, Etc. This is detrimental. It does not build the relationship needed to be successful.

Think about it. The hostage negotiator HAS to be focused. It is a matter of life and death.

So, sales people and executives have to think like the hostage negotiator. Think of it as a matter of life and death- not for the hostage in this instance, but for themselves.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore.

Gen Y.

Smart.

Technically astute.

Global.

Diverse.

Distracted.

Interesting…..

Ready? Equipped? Are they prepared to face the tough world ahead?

Recent studies by Trusted Advisor Associates shows that when it comes to what many consider to be the most powerful tool in your business and personal tool kit, (relationships) they are not prepared. Let’s look at the four levels of internal and external business relationships:

Expertise based

Needs based

Relationship based

…and trusted advisor based

Being a trusted advisor is the highest level one can attain, and, of course, the most valuable.

The studies show that as age increases, the level of trustworthiness increases. There is approximately an 18% difference in trustworthiness between the ages of 20 to 70. The downfall to lacking trustworthiness and struggling in relationships for younger workers, most likely,  is a lack of life and business and life experience. Can trustworthiness be accelerated in an individual?

Accelerating them ahead

“Going against conventional wisdom: trust CAN be taught. Some business leaders make the case that to improve performance, people and businesses should leverage their strengths rather than concentrating on fixing their weaknesses. This makes a great deal of sense in areas of skills mastery. But when it comes to trust, the opposite is demonstrably true. By focusing on their weaknesses, individuals can make disproportionately large and rapid improvements in their trustworthiness, because improving weaknesses has the effect of lowering standard deviation, thereby increasing perceived integrity. By becoming aware of an imbalance in their trustworthiness strategies, individuals can strengthen their overall trustworthiness. By focusing on even minor improvements in their weak components, they can see a major impact on their overall ability to build trust.” (From “Think More Expertise Will Make You More Trusted? Think Again” by Trusted Advisor Associates)

Is your new workforce ready for the onslaught? Probably not. It may be time to address the imbalance.

(For more on the Trusted Advisor Associates study, see What Really Builds Trust. And, for an interesting snippet of Gen Y see We are Gen Y)

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore