One important influence in business and personal relationships is making the relationship and the “events” between humans personal.

How do we do this?

The following input is from global friends who have been kind enough to contribute, and from myself based on my general experience. Certainly, there is more that can be added, so please comment.

Tell stories Ask and listen Relate Go local Be curious Be honest Have patience Make it “one of a kind” Build trust Be authentic Show empathy Be honest Relate Mirror Be genuine Be passionate Be honest

How do you make it personal?

Well, from one of my readers, via Twitter, “offer genuine help w no expectations…be a willing connector in the same spirit.”

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

*Thank you: Akiko (Japanese), Stessa (American), Henrik (Danish), Amy (American) and Kayo (Japanese)

Teamwork, a key to success in many business environments, works seamlessly at times, but does face numerous challenges. In team situations, there can be obscure amounts of jealousy, feelings of neglect, a lack of authenticity and the tendency to jump to quick conclusions, just to name a few of the complications.

What then transpires due to these and other challenges? Cliques are formed, feuds happen and morale is down. This then results in lower performance levels, a lack of productivity, and general negativity which, ultimately, causes the teams to fall apart.

How to keep teams intact? Trust. Trust is the backbone to teamwork.

..the most critical, foundational building block of a team is trust. Without trust most teams are really disparate collections of individuals called groups. The element that creates or erodes trust is your individual behaviour. Charles H. Green, Trusted Advisor Associates

Business team leaders therefore need to build trust, by behaving in a trustworthy manner. The team members won’t trust them for the sake of trusting. It is too risky. Therefore, the team leaders need to lead and exhibit the traits and characteristics that create trustworthiness. It is up to the leaders to drive two of the following Trust Principles:*

Collaboration: To work jointly with others or together especially in an intellectual endeavour. (Merriam-Webster)

A few examples:

Team leaders need to demonstrate trustworthiness by constantly involving the team member. Don’t speculate about what your team is thinking – ask them.

Value meetings over phone calls and phone calls over emails. Make it personal.

Practice putting all issues on the table for joint discussion.

Transparency: The art of being transparent. Transparent: 1) free from pretense or deceit: frank 2) easily detected or seen through: obvious 3) readily understood 4) characterized by visibility or accessibility of information especially concerning business practices. (Merriam-Webster)

Nothing destroys trust faster than the team leader who appears to be withholding information or trying to control the team member. Be willing to be open about your practices.

Most organizations recognize that trust is an important consideration in their company’s success, but many employees don’t feel it is being nurtured internally. The main culprit? Top management… Charles H. Green, Trusted Advisor Associates

Trust drives relationships which drives teamwork, therefore team leaders need to set the example and drive trusted relationships… to keep the teams together.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

*The Four Trust Principles, Charlies H. Green, Trusted Advisor Associates

The leaders who work most effectively have trained themselves not to think “I.” They think “we;” and they think “team.” They understand that their job is to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don’t sidestep it. But “we” get the credit. This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done. Peter Drucker.

Create the relationship first. Create an immediate strong relationship. Understand common goals and interests. Ensure that you gain concession- must be a neutral gain for both. You must bond and you must be sincerely interested in the person. You must understand the pain that could lead to resistance. Be proactive- lead first. Collaborate. Get person to talk and get him/her to talk first. Show empathy. Listen through active listening. Establish credibility. Encourage safety. Find out as much information as you can about the person and their situation.

What is this? Suggestions on building powerful business relationships from the get-go?

Nope.

These are tips for hostage negotiators. Hostage negotiators have an insane job which is to save the life of a hostage from an irrational hostage taker.

Wow.

Sales people and executives also have tough jobs- winning over both internal and external clients. Similar to the hostage negotiator, but one makes the difference between life and death.

So why can’t executives and sales people consistently exhibit these traits? Shouldn’t they do it naturally- like the hostage negotiator?

The problem is focus. Lack of focus. Business people are too focused on the business, themselves, their numbers, the outcomes, the sale, Etc. This is detrimental. It does not build the relationship needed to be successful.

Think about it. The hostage negotiator HAS to be focused. It is a matter of life and death.

So, sales people and executives have to think like the hostage negotiator. Think of it as a matter of life and death- not for the hostage in this instance, but for themselves.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore.

If we want become great communicators, we need to know how to step back and see the communication process as it happens. This means that we are able to notice the kinds of words, body language and voice qualities that a person is using and use this information to understand how that person thinks.

One of the most important understandings of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) is that ‘the map is not the territory’. We take in information from around us through our senses, in particular our sight, hearing and feelings. We then interpret this information in our own individual way, depending on a whole host of things such as our beliefs, experiences, upbringing, culture etc.

In other words, we create our own individual map of reality – and this is always going to be different from what is  actually ‘out there’ i.e. the ‘territory’. Not only that, every person’s map will be different from everyone else’s.

To be great communicators, then, we must be great observers. Only when we have taken the trouble to stand back and notice how another person is communicating can we begin to understand their map. How do they express themselves? What kinds of key words and phrases do they use? What do their gestures and facial expression tell us? What are they saying with their tone of voice?

A final word: just being aware that other people’s maps are different from our own is a simple step towards communication excellence, as this creates tolerance and a desire to investigate and understand. This alone can help us to create great performance.

James Irvine, Team Egyii, Singapore

Today, connecting is a difficult proposition. It is even tougher when you prospect.

There is no doubt that people are overly busy with their day to day personal and business tasks- and even worse, they are being “contacted” in more ways than ever: email, SMS, social media, and by phone (by “pesky” telemarketers to say the least).

It is a virtual flood out there.

How to prospect today? Differentiate in your approach

Even with all the technology and distractions today, people appreciate a real person and voice behind the attempts to connect. It just has to be done right. When was the last time you got a call from a bank with an un-targeted, sloppy approach? I got one the other day.

“Sir we can arrange a loan for you.”

“I don’t need a loan. And how can you make a promise like that- I might not even qualify?”

I challenged the caller with those questions- she had no response. Yes, I know it is her job. She is not to blame- it is management. She is following orders.

This is a  great example as to why people are being “bothered” by prospectors today, as this is an untargeted, “spray and pray” technique. There were also a lot of assumptions in this approach.

What really works? In order for the conversation to be successful, it needs to:

Achieve a goal

Satisfy a need

Solve a problem

What tools/skills does one need? The caller needs to:

Use the right opening statements, vocal techniques and rapport building skills to create interest and capture attention

Utilise conversational bridging statements to keep the customer engaged during the call

Ask effective questions in a logical order to discover the customers current situation, their stated needs and their hidden needs

Listen actively and accurately to capture relevant information first time and recognise the input and contributions received from the customer

Pick up on and respond to customer buying signals and clues that indicate the interest level of customer

Explain and link  the benefits of a product or service to meet customer needs, create interest and secure commitment versus relying on product features

Handle common customer objections by using the APART approach to keep the customer involved in the conversation and focused on the value the product will bring

Use a conversational close to ask for permission to proceed

Professionally close the call to leave a positive, lasting impression in both successful call outcome situations and when the customer declines to proceed

Yes prospecting is difficult…but it can be done. It is all about the approach.

For more, see Connect Through High Impact Sales Conversations

Andrew Sidwell, Team Egyii, Singapore

Whether you are a working for a large consulting company or an IT/Telecoms vendor, chances are you may be wasting one of your best resources to win business- the resources that are the least “threatening” with the most potential to influence; your professional services, consulting or sales engineering team.

Buyers buy from a non-rational (emotional) approach. Most companies (salespeople, consultants, engineers and services) approach it from a rational approach- that is positioning on a technical and/or a needs base basis. There is nothing wrong with this, however it needs to be recognized, because if it only goes to a technical or needs base basis, then chances are opportunities are missed and wasted.

As you build your relationship and the client relationship progresses, it moves from the  technical or needs base basis and  reaches its peak at the next level, the relationship level. Again, there is nothing wrong with this, but rarely does it reach the trusted advisor status, the highest status of all relationships.

Reaching a trusted advisor status opens up more opportunities by easing the lines of business and the relationship highways that need to be built for current and ongoing business.

It is also a BIG differentiator in today’s competitive services world, that everyone wants a part of.

What keeps most companies from meeting the trusted advisor status?

The sales organization’s “processes.”

The pressure of sales organizations tends to drive salespeople to be very “seller” centric, which then tends to drive the buyer away. This gives the professional services team the opportunity to be more customer or buyer centric (focusing on the buyer’s personal needs), as they don’t have the pressure to sell and close.

Most sales organizations treat their clients as “competitors,” often holding information back and not collaborating. They are often afraid to open up and share too much. Buyers value openness and openness build trust. Professional services team don’t typically feel the “heat” of the corporate led competition attitude – this gives them the opportunity be transparent and to collaborate.

Most sales people are not good listeners (and it’s not always their fault). They are focusing too much on the sales process, the outcome of the meeting, the “advance” and their own “seller focused” agenda. Professional services teams have a better opportunity to listen (once they get over their rational, technical product approach) and the power of listening builds relationships.

Most salespeople are short term focused- whatever it takes to close the deal to meet monthly or quarterly objectives. Buyers sense this and know it- and don’t necessarily like it. Professional services teams can capitalise by looking medium to long term- to build the relationship, to keep the client long term.

(I am not blaming the sales people for their faults- it is typically the system that drives their behaviours. The system, or sales process is typically a “one size fits all” process. A process is OK, it just needs to be flexible)

All of these models build trust. And trust transforms relationships, which transforms business.

The Personal and Risk Aspect

Trust and relationships are personal. Professional services teams appear to be less threatening in the eyes of the client, and therefore have great potential to become more personal, to build trust and relationships, and therefore influence, without changing the professional services teams status quo and making them feel “uncomfortable.” After all most professional services people are not salespeople and many don’t want to be.

The risk in buying professional services is also very high. Why?

The product is partially intangible and partially comprised of people knowledge and skills

The overall stakes are high

The range of outcomes can be wide and unclear

The seller typically has command of technical expertise that the buyer does not (which makes it somewhat threatening to the client)

There is financial and business risk–but there is great emotional and political risk as well. In a trusting relationship, risk is mitigated because the “transactions” become personal.

Is it time to look at your business, transform it and fill your pipeline by releasing your hidden weapon of influence- your professional services team? Give it a think. A big think.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

….and Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time”

Ok so this book is about 5 years old. Maybe I am a bit slow getting to it. Doesn’t matter. After about a half dozen people recommended it, I bought it “used” on Amazon.

It is the best book on meaningful connecting and networking I have yet to encounter. There are no voodoo tactics. It is all real. OK, so Keith is smart- he is extraordinary. Doesn’t matter, he is real.

Read it early in your career. Read it when you near the middle or end of your career. Read it. Please.

The following quotes sum the book up better than I can. Why reinvent the wheel?

Ferrazzi grew up in rural Pennsylvania, the son of a steelworker and a cleaning lady, yet his ability to connect with others led to a scholarship at Yale, a Harvard MBA, and a prestigious partnership at Deloitte Consulting. His skills at creating and maintaining a network of contacts are nothing short of those of a serious presidential contender. All business hopefuls seek to enter a sphere of players more powerful than themselves, and Ferrazzi says that sometimes all it takes is asking. The book is dense with suggestions. Seek out mentors to guide you and introduce you to the people you need to know and then become a mentor yourself. Use your initial conversation to show the other person what you have to offer them, and never keep score. Make others feel important by remembering their names and birthdays. And don’t be afraid to open up and show vulnerability–it’s a great icebreaker. Ferrazzi presents a whirlwind of ideas to widen your circle of contacts that goes way beyond the usual stale concepts of “networking.” David Siegfried
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

The youngest partner in Deloitte Consulting’s history and founder of the consulting company Ferrazzi Greenlight, the author quickly aims in this useful volume to distinguish his networking techniques from generic handshakes and business cards tossed like confetti. At conferences, Ferrazzi practices what he calls the “deep bump” – a “fast and meaningful” slice of intimacy that reveals his uniqueness to interlocutors and quickly forges the kind of emotional connection through which trust, and lots of business, can soon follow. That bump distinguishes this book from so many others that stress networking; writing with Fortune Small Business editor Raz, Ferrazzi creates a real relationship with readers. Ferrazzi may overstate his case somewhat when he says, “People who instinctively establish a strong network of relationships have always created great businesses,” but his clear and well-articulated steps for getting access, getting close and staying close make for a substantial leg up. Each of 31 short chapters highlights a specific technique or concept, from “Warming the Cold Call” and “Managing the Gatekeeper” to following up, making small talk, “pinging” (or sending “quick, casual” greetings) and defining oneself to the point where one’s missives become “the e-mail you always read because of who it’s from.” In addition to variations on the theme of hard work, Ferrazzi offers counterintuitive perspectives that ring true: “vulnerability… is one of the most underappreciated assets in business today”; “too many people confuse secrecy with importance.” No one will confuse this book with its competitors.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore (go get ‘em, tiger! 虎 )

So many objections, so many solutions

Why are we always confronted with so many objections that stall the sale? And when we are, they become very difficult to resolve. There are many ways to confront objections and everyone often has their own “manipulative” techniques to counter….

“If I can do that price do we have deal?”

“Is that the only thing holding back?”

“What do I need to do to earn your business?”

“If I can offer a solution would you be willing to buy today?”

How well do these objection handlers really work?

Very often objections are based around price. When you reach a price objection, here is a tip:

“Is it a budget issue?” (can you afford it?)

or

“Do you see value in the solution?” (to discover if they are objecting on value not on price)

From there you have an idea where you stand. This advice is valuable in its time and place, but why reach this position in the first place? If you had done your work earlier, chances are this won’t happen.

The value of transparency in dealing with sales objections

As part of your build-up to the sale, prior to any objections (and as a tool during your objections) , if you are completely open you probably won’t encounter these objections in the first place and will be able to resolve them when they arise.

Buying is based on emotion. After the initial assessment of you and your products (which is a very rational approach) people tend to buy on emotion (non-rational) from people that they trust.

One way to build trust is through transparency. Transparency throughout. Before. During. After.

dictionary.com defines transparency as “a state of being transparent” and transparent is defined as:

Having the property of transmitting rays of light through its substance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can be distinctly seen

Easily seen through, recognised or detected

Manifest; obvious: example is “a story with a transparent plot”

Open; frank; candid: example is “the man’s transparent earnestness”

If you are not transparent in your actions, the buyer starts questioning your motives. Once the buyer questions your motives, she starts to fear you and what you are doing. And when fear sets in, what happens? Objections.

How do we conduct transparency?

Easy. Sharing. Sharing information with the buyer lowers suspicion because it encourages collaboration and openness, and this will bring out any objections earlier in the sale. Yes it appears to be risky, and risk causes you fear. Take that risk and get over the fear, because it certainly is easier to control your fear than the buyer’s.

Taking the initial risk is tough, but worth it. It will lead you into a more powerful, trusting relationship and may even help you get that sale…. and more.

(for a great article on handling price objections, see Meeting Price Objections from Trust by Charles H. Green, Trusted Advisor Associates)

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore

It’s not about you.
It’s all about them.
Your clients, that is.

Building personal relationships (which enhance your business relaionships) requires a dialogue, and a dialogue requires great questions.

The dialogue then needs to be  focused on the client, not you.

Great relationship building questions are better when they are not formulated for an immediate business result. You don’t need to “close” all the time with questions. You do  need to be honest, open, straightforward and trustworthy in your approach.

Many people have formulated numerous questions to create dialogues; here are the ones that have worked best for me.

Examples of Questions

How are you measured and what are your KPIs?

Tell me something about you and what you have done in business or your personal life that will surprise me.

What book(s) are you currently reading?

What do you do outside of work? What are your hobbies and interests?

How did you come about getting to your current role?

What frustrates you the most in your business today?

Tell me something about your company that I probably don’t already know (assuming you have already your research on the Internet)

There are many more questions that you can formulate on your own- work with whatever you are comfortable with.

Tip 1: Ask questions in areas where you may have similarities with your prospect/client (such as the area you grew up in or schools you attended) to build a common ground-this  is a lot more powerful.

Tip 2: It never hurts to preface a question with ‘Do you mind if I ask you…?” This gives you permission to ask and makes the prospect/client more comfortable.

The timing needs to be perfect on your questions to ensure sensitivity. You may not want to ask some of these questions on your first meeting- do it when you are comfortable. Keep in mind that you are trying to connect emotionally- so many business questions are based on logic, and so many business decisions are based on emotion.

Why are these great questions? They are not too personal and not overly business like. They bridge the gap between the two and can open up further conversations and build a stronger relationship.

Where to use these questions? You can use them to start off the conversation when you first meet and greet, or on the second or third meeting - whatever you are most comfortable with.

I also recommend you use them to set the tone for a lead into something like, or similar to, Trusted Advisor Associates’ ELFEC or whatever your sales process (Huthwaite SPIN, Value Selling, etc) suggests. They set a good tone.

Great questions, when done sensitively and when focused on the client, work wonders.

If you have any you want to share that you have been successful with, please do so by commenting.

 Trip Allen (Happy New Year!), Team Egyii, Singapore

What am I talking about here? Coffee? A hospital?

You may need both to help build stronger business relationships…but that is not what I am referring to.

The “Drip Method” is all about feeding the client bits and pieces of valuable information to “hook” them into a long term relationship.

How is this done?

To start, you need to always be:

Understanding the client’s business

Anticipating his needs

Listening to him to understand his needs/priorities

Keeping a record of those needs/priorities so you can constantly refer to them

What is next?

You use the vast world of the internet, your creative mind and your network. You then gather the pertinent information, put it all together and send “value packages” to your prospects and clients.

With the value packages of client pertinent information, you feed your prospects and clients, on ocassion, through emails or face to face, pertinent articles (preferably ones that you write in your own blogs) and verbal tid-bits of information. Make sure that every message is personalised and timely. Make sure it is unobtrusive.

What does this do? It keeps you in front of the client with their agenda, not yours. It builds a value add relationship. Simple as that.

Keep in mind that this requires a lot of thinking and research… and it takes time, but it will bring results.

By the way, I drink my coffee expresso style…

Cheers.

Trip Allen, Team Egyii, Singapore